The very first step is that you have to have a motorbike. Otherwise none of this will matter and you’ll just have to hope that your tuk tuk driver is drunk, because otherwise the whole crashing thing isn’t going to happen for you.
We rented a motorbike here in Chiang Mai. It’s $50/mo, costs about $3 to fill up and fits a family of three just perfectly. You know that post about getting rid of the car seat in Bangkok, well let’s just say we’ve embraced local modes of transportation even more. There’s a complicated system I use to justify this to myself but here are the highlights: Thais drive with their children all the time (usually just standing on their lap, hair blowing in the breeze), most of them don’t use helmets, we only drive in town where the speeds rarely go above 15 mph and because everyone is too poor to have insurance or replace their vehicle, everyone drives very nicely (once you account for the complete lack of traffic rules).
So my husband drives, I put the baby in a wrap with a baby helmet (the store owner laughed at me when I tried to buy a helmet for him, assuming I was just kidding) and I hop on the back. It’s a baby sandwich. Hubby, Baby, Me.
There are two reactions we get as we zip around town. The first is from Thais who invariably notice the baby and lean off the edge of their bike, stretch out one hand (steering their bike with the other) and try to touch his hand or foot. If they are driving with a baby, they usually shake their baby at me, smiling and try to make the two children touch hands. All of this while we’re driving down the street, avoiding potholes and for the Thais, usually carrying some large package on the front of their bike.
The second reaction is from foreigners. Usually they drop their jaw, nudge the person next to them, and on a few occasions, whip out their video camera – because apparently there’s a big demand for videos of bad parents on YouTube.
